Kindergarten Roundup for Red-Pill Kouples!

This morning before school was "Kindergarten Roundup" for my littlest one, so my wife and I dutifully got the sleepy kids ready earlier than normal to attend the meeting. We had already been through it with our oldest, and our youngest attends preschool, so it wasn't really a big deal for us, but was more for our little one to get ready for kindergarten.

The school served cookies and coffee for the parents while the little ones were ushered off for orientation. We got a packet of stuff, and as the principal, school nurse, lunch lady, and teachers made their presentations, I looked through the papers.

One of the handouts read like this:

Building Self-Esteem

21 Hints

1. Don't correct me in front of people if you can help it. It'll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.
2. Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
3. Don't spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I'm only testing you.
4. Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it. It makes me feel more secure.
5. Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
6. Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly "big."
7. Don't make me feel my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of value.
8. Don't protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
9. Don't be too upset when I say "I hate you." It isn't you I hate, but your power to thwart me.
10. Don't make too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need.
11. Don't nag. If you do I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
12. Don't make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken.
13. Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should. That is why I'm not always very accurate.
14. Don't tax my honesty too much. I'm easily frightened into telling lies.
15. Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I will stop asking and seek information elsewhere.
16. Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real. You can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.
17. Don't suggest you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I realize you are neither.
18. Don't ever think it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you.
19. Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It may be very difficult for you to keep pace with me but please try.
20. Don't forget I love experimenting. So, please put up with it.
21. Don't forget that I can't thrive without lots of understanding love. But, I don't need to tell you, do I?

I had to chuckle while reading it, because there was more red-pill wisdom in this handout intended for parents dealing with children entering kindergarten than all the printed self-help magazines on the storeroom shelves. The same hints directed towards relationships between husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, are chock full of harsh truth and wisdom. However, while it is safe to give this advice to parents in dealing with their children, it would be apostasy to give the same advice to couples.

Here's how the handout would read for couples:

Building a Happy Relationship

13 Hints from Men to Women:

1. Don't correct me in front of people if you can help it. It'll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private. (Stop with the shit-tests already.)
2. Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages. (Sometimes you need to get me off my ass, get me to eat healthier, drink less, etc.)
3. Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly "big." (Yes, a penis joke.)
4. Don't make me feel my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of value. (While I do make mistakes, there are many things I do right, so keep things in perspective.)
5. Don't make too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need. (i.e. - the "Man Cold.")
6. Don't nag. If you do I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf. (Self explanatory.)
7. Don't tax my honesty too much. I'm easily frightened into telling lies. ("Do I look fat in this dress?")
8. Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I will stop asking and seek information elsewhere. ("Why don't we talk anymore?" might be due to you.)
9. Don't suggest you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I realize you are neither. (Get off the pedestal. Deep down you don't want to be up there anyway.)
10. Don't ever think it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you. (Get over yourself and past your own ego and apologize when you fuck up. I do it all the time, it won't kill you.)
11. Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It may be very difficult for you to keep pace with me but please try. (Post red-pill awakening change is fast. Undoing decades of lies and brainwashing is painful and difficult.)
12. Don't forget I love experimenting. So please, put up with it. (In bed.)
13. Don't forget that I can't thrive without lots of understanding love. But, I don't need to tell you, do I? (I need your love, support, kindness and encouragement to conquer the world and fight the good fight. Unfortunately, it does seem that I do have to tell you this.)

Building a Happy Relationship

8 Hints from Women to Men 

(with maybe some additional overlap with the above)

1. Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you. (You need to be the rational one and lead. If you lead consistently, I will follow you.)
2. Don't spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I'm only (shit-)testing you. (If you never say "no" I lose respect, and thus desire, for you.)
3. Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it. I makes me feel more secure. (Self-explanatory.)
4. Don't protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes. (If I waste a bunch of money on a pair of shoes, you shouldn't take me out to dinner that month to enforce discipline. I won't like it, but I'll respect you.)
5. Don't be too upset when I say "I hate you." It isn't you I hate, but your power to thwart me. (Insert "You're so mean" or "You're an asshole.")
6. Don't make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken. ("Baby, I can change" or "I promise to never have sex with the secretary again" are bad signs for the relationship, and you should just have the balls to break it off.)
7. Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should. That is why I'm not always very accurate. (Hormones, hormones, hormones. Emotions, emotions, emotions.)
8. Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real. You can do much to reassure me if you try to understand. (Kill the damn spider already, and sometimes I just need you to listen and not solve every problem.)

Imagine that, I find red-pill wisdom at Kindergarten Roundup. The same advice, given to adults, would result in a wailing and gnashing of teeth of feminists and manginas everywhere.